---
name: mohitagw15856/support-a-friend-in-crisis
source: https://app.decimal.ai/s/mohitagw15856-support-a-friend-in-crisis@1/SKILL.md
source_sha256: e0fc9def1f6f
---

# Support a Friend in Crisis

When someone you care about is going through something awful, the fear of saying the wrong thing makes many people freeze and pull away — exactly when their friend needs them most. Showing up well is a skill: it's less about perfect words and more about presence, not-fixing, and concrete help. This tells you what to say (and the clichés to avoid), how to be there over time, and when it's beyond what a friend can hold.

## What This Skill Produces

- **What to actually say** — simple, genuine words that acknowledge their pain, and the well-meant clichés to avoid ("everything happens for a reason," "at least...," "let me know if you need anything")
- **Presence over fixing** — how to just *be there* and listen, rather than rushing to solve or advise (most people want to feel accompanied, not fixed)
- **Concrete help** — specific, low-burden offers ("I'll drop off dinner Tuesday") instead of the vague "let me know," which they'll never take up
- **Showing up over time** — how to keep supporting past the first week, when everyone else has moved on and it's often hardest
- **Looking after yourself** — supporting someone in crisis is draining; how to sustain it without burning out
- **The professional line** — a clear flag for when it's beyond a friend (self-harm risk, deep depression, danger) and how to steer them to real/crisis help

## Required Inputs

Ask for these if not provided:
- **What they're facing** — the crisis (loss, illness, breakup, job loss, mental health)
- **Your relationship** — how close, and how they tend to cope
- **What's worrying you** — saying the wrong thing, not knowing how to help, or concern for their safety
- **What you've done so far** — and how they've responded
- **Any risk signs** — anything suggesting they need professional/crisis support

## Framework: Be There, Help Concretely, Know The Line

1. **Acknowledge simply.** Genuine, plain words ("I'm so sorry, this is awful, I'm here") beat any clever comfort. Don't reach for silver linings or fixes.
2. **Be present, don't fix.** Listen, sit with them, let them feel it — most people in pain want company and validation, not solutions or advice they didn't ask for.
3. **Avoid the clichés.** "Everything happens for a reason," "at least...", "stay strong," and the vague "let me know if you need anything" all land badly — steer clear.
4. **Offer concrete help.** Replace "let me know" with specific, easy-to-accept offers (a meal, a ride, handling one task) — people in crisis can't organize help, so make it effortless.
5. **Keep showing up.** Support fades after the first wave; being there weeks later — a check-in text, remembering — matters enormously when others have moved on.
6. **Protect yourself.** You can't pour from empty; pace your support and get your own.
7. **Know the line.** If there's risk of self-harm, severe depression, or danger, gently but clearly help them get professional or crisis support — a friend isn't a substitute.

## Output Format

### Supporting: [friend] · going through [crisis]

**What to say:** [simple, genuine words]. **Avoid:** ["at least" / "everything happens for a reason" / vague "let me know"].
**Be present, don't fix:** [listen · sit with it · validate, don't solve].
**Concrete help to offer:** [specific, low-burden — a meal / ride / one task].
**Keep showing up:** [check in past the first week, when it's hardest].
**Look after yourself:** [pace it · get your own support].
> **If there's any risk** (self-harm, severe depression, danger): gently help them reach professional or crisis support — this is beyond what a friend should hold alone.

## Quality Checks
- [ ] Gives simple genuine words and names the clichés to avoid
- [ ] Emphasizes presence/listening over fixing
- [ ] Offers concrete, low-burden help instead of "let me know"
- [ ] Includes showing up over time, not just the first week
- [ ] Addresses the supporter looking after themselves
- [ ] Clearly flags when to steer to professional/crisis help

## Anti-Patterns
- **Silver-lining clichés** and "at least..."
- **Rushing to fix** instead of being present.
- **Vague "let me know if you need anything."**
- **Disappearing after the first week.**
- **Trying to be their therapist** when they need a professional.
- **Burning yourself out** with no self-care.

## Example Trigger Phrases
- "My friend's parent just died — what do I say and how do I help?"
- "How do I support someone going through a divorce?"
- "A friend is really struggling and I don't know how to be there."
- "What do I say to someone with a serious illness?"
- "My friend is in crisis — how can I actually help?"